Hey ladies, it’s shorts season. Yeah, we know the last time you wore shorts, an apple was just a piece of fruit. “Shorts season” to you means summery dresses and skirts. And shorts are items of clothing exclusive to school children at recess and possibly adults on their way to the gym. While we’d usually endorse this way of thinking, this year is different. Shorts were THE sexy staple on the spring runways. Now, just in case this news makes you want to yak up all those Peeps and peanut butter eggs you ate last weekend, relax, you too can wear shorts. And you won’t (necessarily) have to spend every free minute between now and August on that dreaded inner thigh machine.
First, forget half of what you saw on the catwalks. Hot pants are not an option. That is, unless you like buying Monistat by the caseload. Besides, the denizens of your sleepy little burg will not take to the teeny, tiny maillot-cut “shorts” displayed in shows like Derek Lam or Marc Jacobs. Even if you had the legs to pull off the impossible, the ill will and vitriol you would inspire from the rest of the female population would not be worth the uninterrupted barrage of attention from males of all species.
So, your choices are these: short shorts or tap pants, with short shorts being the slightly more ambitious option for most of us. If you live for that runner’s high or teach spinning five times a week, these little Tory Burch beauties might be for you. Thanks to the pleats, this Elizabeth and James style promises to flatter a wider range of body types.
Now, if the only model physique you possess belongs to the 12-year-old Latvian girl you have captive in your basement, consider tap pants. Unlike a structured short that requires you to have a long, lean leg line, like skirts, this style floats away from the body, aptly hiding the results of a multitude of marshmallow-filled sins. This Marc Jacobs outfit at Saks demonstrates how to wear pleated shorts to your favor.
A word about volume: caution. Remember, you’re going for billow not bubble. No one should walk around looking like she’s got a load in her diaper. Excessive pleats, paper-bag waists, kangaroo pockets and tight, banded cuffs can all conspire to give you a bubble butt. Exhibit A: This sherbet-hued Stella McCartney misstep. Don’t let it happen to you.
~ Caletha Crawford |
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Despite looking like two down-on-their-luck orphan Annies most of the time, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have developed an appealing apparel collection in Elizabeth and James. Though they could be sitting back waiting for those “Full House” residuals to roll in, the sisters have revamped the corresponding jewelry collection to be more upscale. The spring line includes feather designs and art deco-inspired crest groupings.
~ C.C. |
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Brace yourself. The second season of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” is in production now in Miami. Note the far-reaching influence this show already has had on society. First, you know you say G.T.L. all the time. Second, Snooki’s hairstyle has served as inspiration for all types of non-Guidesses. Now, it seems Jake Gyllenhaal wants to get in on the low-rent fun. Check out the pinky ring he’s sporting these days. A pinky ring? Maybe he’s hoping to play The Situation when this show blows up and hits the big screen.
~ C.C. |
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